As we continue to look at how we can grow our family bonds this spring, let's consider keeping and creating family traditions. Do you remember any family traditions you may have had growing up? How do you feel when you think about them? ...Nostalgic, maybe? ...Or maybe you recall warm feelings of family? This is why it is so important to have family traditions for your kids.
Following traditions will help your family stay in touch with your own culture and create a never ending bond. I remember having several family traditions as a child. One of them was set for springtime...an Easter egg hunt. This tradition is based on my religion and my family's faith, but also exhibits my culture. I have a German ancestry in which we are known to decorate Easter trees. Although, as a child, we did not make an Easter tree, we did decorate eggs and have a hunt. Find a way to introduce your culture to your children. Not only will they learn about your family's history, but you will have diverse activities that will bond your family and assist you in creating a nurturing environment.
Beyond continuing your own childhood traditions, create some new family traditions. One that I created is our annual fall decorating night. Every year the whole family sets out to decorate the house with lights, corn stalks, hay bales, mums, and scarecrows. We end the evening with a treat of apple cider and donuts as we rest on the porch filled with fall decor. The kids love it and we have a great time working together as a family. We all look forward to it every year!
Your kids will enjoy learning about your family history and creating a bond with you as you celebrate your culture through family traditions.
As we continue to look at growth in our families, in light of the arrival of spring, let's think about what behavior encourages family bonding. There are several possibilities for bonding to take place, but one of the most important and somewhat obvious, yet neglected, is spending time together. Simply being in the same house at the same time is NOT spending quality time together. Quality time together will build relationships and requires communication and interactions.
Do you spend enough time with your child to encourage that family bond? According to a survey and article posted by The Population Reference Bureau, on average an American parent spends approximately 6-12 hours per week spending time with their child, not including basic needs like bathing and such. That would be less than an hour per day to about 1 3/4 hours per day on average. The article reported that parents increased the number of hours spent with their children over the years. It was not specified what activities were done together, but I would venture a guess that some of that time was in front of the television. How much quality time do you spend with your child? Is an hour watching cartoons quality time?
Is there any interaction going on between you and your child while you are together? Through interactions and communication our family relationship will grow. When there is no interaction and no communication, the bond breaks apart.
How can we encourage interaction and communication in our family? First, make sure that you are doing activities that require you to talk with your kids and family members as well as have some physical contact. Play some sports or board games. Make dinner together. Sit down to dinner together. Read a book as a family and then role-play the fun parts. Go for a walk and talk about your day. Help them with their homework and study with them. There are so many great ways to bond that do not cost money and can be done at home. Be creative and enjoy your children while they are home! You will be amazed at how much trust and love builds through being more interactive with your family!
Reference
Cohn, D'Vera. (2007). Do Parents Spend Enough Time With Their Children? Population Reference Bureau. Retrieved from: http://www.prb.org/Publications/Articles/2007/DoParentsSpendEnoughTimeWithTheirChildren.aspx
Despite the snow and cold weather, spring is in the air! It won't be long before we start to see blossoms and green grass. With spring on the horizon, "growth" becomes a topic of thought. Not only does foliage grow in the spring, but our relationships can also grow. Why not make this new season a season of growth for you and your family's bond? What can increase relationship growth in my family?
Three areas of focus can assist families in building stronger relationships: good communication, spending time together, and developing or reinforcing family traditions. When encouraging good communication, your family will become closer and each member will feel unified in knowing more about one another. Making efforts to spend time together increases the family bond. Family traditions allow members to develop a closeness in which they "own" their heritage.
Let's look at good communication this week. In the following weeks we will discuss "spending time together" and "family traditions."
Good communication is important in all relationships, but especially within the family unit. It is important to keep communication open and to make sure that all members of the family feel comfortable enough to communicate their feelings, thoughts, or experiences.
Be sure to encourage sharing. Allow each member to share memorable moments from their day, as well as feelings that these moments produced. When sharing is encouraged, communication is increased and families begin to grow their bond.
Keep all communication and sharing calm. If a family member shares something upsetting, be careful to use language that builds up rather than getting upset and losing tempers. Everyone has the right to share from their day and experiences without judgment. Keep judgment to a minimum and stay calm! If the topic brings up feelings of frustration, use techniques that encourage one another. It is okay to disagree, but do so in a sensitive manner. Consider the family member's situation before making any hasty remarks. By being considerate and keeping calm, the family bond will grow along with trust and respect.
