Consequences for Choices

     When we make choices as adults, we know that there are consequences for those choices.  This concept should be taught to our children as well.  As they grow up, they must be aware that there are consequences for the choices they make. 

     Take examples such as, stealing, anger management, disobedience, safety, and health.  These topics can be discussed with your children and questions can be asked about what might happen if a good or bad choice is made.  Explain to your children that every choice has a consequence whether good or bad.  It is important for children to realize that they have power over their circumstances by making good choices. 

     I remember my son had a teacher in elementary school who had as her main rule for her class to "make good choices."  I love the idea of teaching our kids about good choices at an early age!  This rule has stuck with me, and I keep it as a rule in my home and classroom.

     

     Try helping your child to understand this concept now and they will learn to reflect on their decisions to bring about success in school, in relationships, and as they grow into young men and women.

Sibling Rivalry

In searching for a topic for a new blog post, I came across a question regarding sibling rivalry; and this made me start to reflect on my practices as a parent with my two children.  It seems that anytime there is more than one child, there will be some amount of fighting and disagreement.  How do we curb that? 

Well, I find that helping them to work through their problems during these disagreements is helpful.  I never take sides, but instead ask them to reflect on what the other is feeling.  This usually will bring the disagreement into discussion and eventually to a peaceful end.  Of course, my children are older, but this can work on most children if it is presented at their level. 

Make sure that your children understand that violence is NEVER okay and to NEVER allow anger to drive their judgments.  We can also model this in our own behavior. 

Another important part of reducing sibling rivalry is to try to stay neutral.  Taking sides can become a painful experience for a child.  Support both children and allow them to understand that you love them both and that they each have valid opinions. 

Take time to spend with each child.  Doing this can give your child a sense of love and relationship and will curb the desire to rival their sibling.

Sibling rivalry will always be an issue in parenting.  Although in following these steps and keeping positive and supportive, it can be controlled.

SUMMER SAFETY

     The hot summer days are upon us and it is so exciting to take the kids out into the warm sunshine to play and interact.  But it is important to remember that there are safety issues we have to follow.  Don't forget the sunscreen, keep a close eye on children when water is present, and protect your family from food poisoning at the family picnic.

     It is easy to forget the sunscreen at home, but within a few minutes a happy baby can become a very upset and badly burned child.  Make sure to carry a small container of sunscreen with you in the diaper bag or a purse, just in case you find yourself and your family outside with the sun burning down on you.  Carrying an extra container can assist you in avoiding a trip to the doctor or to the E.R. due to severe sunburn.

     Water, although a refreshing and fun activity, can turn ugly if children are not properly monitored.  Do not allow children to be unsupervised when around water.  A infant or toddler can drown in a mere foot of water.  Even a bucket filled with water can be a hazard to a mobile infant.  Keep a close eye on your children!  Sometimes when exploring a creek, you may become distracted.  Avoid distractions and instead involve your little ones in the activity you are doing by the water.  This way you can avoid accidents and allow an opportunity to bond.

     Food poisoning occurs quite frequently over the summer months.  Food is left out at parties and picnics when the temperature is perfect for food to spoil quickly.  What was good an hour ago, could cause days of stomach pain and even a trip to the doctor.  Be sure to put all food away as soon as possible after the family has eaten.  This will help keep your whole family healthy and protect the food you worked so hard to prepare from spoiling.

     Keeping these things in mind will help make your summer accident free and fun!  Now, go out and enjoy the summertime activities, before the snow starts falling!

Anger

Anger can sometimes become the cause of some distorted and disturbing family experiences.  It is important to talk about anger and how to express anger with your children.  Some children, and adults, find themselves resorting to physical harm to others, self, or to items around them. 

The Nurturing Parenting Program suggests that children be taught how to express anger in appropriate ways.  This can be done by starting with a simple discussion about anger.  Ask questions about what "anger" means, about a time when your child got angry, and about how they express anger.  Talk about scenarios in which a child might get angry.  Ask them what they would do in each of those situations.  Try to guide them into making good decisions on how to express their anger.  It's okay to get angry, but we all need to know how to express anger in a positive way.  Teach your children to use their "personal power" in a positive way (Bavolek, 2007).  There are three rules in expressing anger that the Nurturing Parenting Program suggests, and they are:

1.  No hurting touch or criticism to others.

2.  No hurting touch or criticism to yourself.

3.  No hurting touch to the environment.  (Bavolek, 2007)

After discussing these rules with your children, teach them how to be angry without causing harm to others, self, or the environment.  They can show anger in facial expressions and in an "angry dance" but not by breaking the three rules of anger expression (Bavolek, 2007).

Reference:

Bavolek, S.   (2007).  Nurturing Skills For Families.  Family Development Resources, Inc., p10.

Tooth Brushing

Have any of you questioned how to brush your young child's teeth?  Well, I remember questioning my doctors when my children were small on this subject.  No matter what age your child is, it is important to keep his or her mouth clean and healthy.  Use a damp cloth to clean your infants gums until they are old enough to use children's toothpaste (approximately 3-4).  Here is a great resource from Parenting on how to keep your child's teeth clean and promote good dental hygiene.

http://www.parenting.com/article/an-age-by-age-guide-to-toothbrushing

Family Time

One of the most important things you can do for your kids is plan time together.  It does not have to be activities that are expensive and break the bank.  There are lots of things you can do with the family that are inexpensive.  Family game night is a popular activity that does not cost a thing.  You can also plan a meal together and let the kids help.  And, craft activities from household items are always a hit.

With summer just around the corner, my mind keeps drifting to dreams of a beach vacation with the family.  For many of us that might not be possible; so why not have a beach-fun day at home. 

Break out the baby pool, buy a small bag of sand, gather some scoops from the kitchen for sand play, put on the swimming suits, and don't forget the sunscreen and towels.  You can even hide a few seashells in the sand if you have any lying around the house and let the kids look for shells.  If you don't have shells, try hiding pebbles.  Don't forget a little lemonade, and you will be all set for a cheap day of beach fun with the kids. 

I did this activity with my family frequently when the kids were smaller and they loved it just as much as going to the beach.  As long as they can play in the sand and interact with mom and dad, kids are happy and satisfied.

Discipline

Discipline is always a difficult subject for parents.  There are diverse views on discipline that range from corporal punishment (hitting) to never saying "no" to your child.  But, what is the best way to discipline? 

To start off, we must address the idea of corporal punishment.  It is never "o.k." to hit your child.  I realize that most of us have grown up in homes where, if we misbehaved, we were forced to choose our switch or maybe there was a paddle with our name on it; but that does not justify hitting our children.  What most corporal punishment promoters do not realize is that every time a child is hit the child loses
self-esteem and it even affects their brain development.

The other extreme is not allowing your child to realize that "no" is an active word in society.  Children who are never told "no" will be in for a big shock when they enter school and work.  A good alternative to presenting this type of discipline is to not use  negative words; present the correct behaviors to a child rather than telling them they are "bad."

So what should I do to punish my child? 

One suggestion would be the use of "time-outs."  This form of punishment has been popularized by a television show and has become a well-used form of punishment.  Giving the child time to reflect on his or her behavior will help instill self-discipline within your child.  This form of punishment will not harm your child's development. 

Another type of discipline that can be use is taking away privileges.  My kids will attest to the fact that this is a great encourager of good behavior.  If they are not permitted to watch their favorite television show or play that special video game for a set amount of time, they will remember the experience the next time they think about acting out.

These are much better alternatives to corporal punishment and can be effective in assisting with discipline in any family.