Anger

Anger can sometimes become the cause of some distorted and disturbing family experiences.  It is important to talk about anger and how to express anger with your children.  Some children, and adults, find themselves resorting to physical harm to others, self, or to items around them. 

The Nurturing Parenting Program suggests that children be taught how to express anger in appropriate ways.  This can be done by starting with a simple discussion about anger.  Ask questions about what "anger" means, about a time when your child got angry, and about how they express anger.  Talk about scenarios in which a child might get angry.  Ask them what they would do in each of those situations.  Try to guide them into making good decisions on how to express their anger.  It's okay to get angry, but we all need to know how to express anger in a positive way.  Teach your children to use their "personal power" in a positive way (Bavolek, 2007).  There are three rules in expressing anger that the Nurturing Parenting Program suggests, and they are:

1.  No hurting touch or criticism to others.

2.  No hurting touch or criticism to yourself.

3.  No hurting touch to the environment.  (Bavolek, 2007)

After discussing these rules with your children, teach them how to be angry without causing harm to others, self, or the environment.  They can show anger in facial expressions and in an "angry dance" but not by breaking the three rules of anger expression (Bavolek, 2007).

Reference:

Bavolek, S.   (2007).  Nurturing Skills For Families.  Family Development Resources, Inc., p10.