Consideration and Sympathy

Establishing empathy in your view of your child is important in the nurturing parenting technique.  Empathy means to have consideration or sympathy for your child and his or her situation.  It can be attained by following these steps:

• Be aware, responsive, or in harmony with your child.  
  
  Walk in his or her shoes.  Imagine yourself in the child's situation.
• Bond with your child.  Take time to build your relationship.  Make QUALITY time for your family and children.
• Meet your child's basic needs.  Give them the physical things (food, shelter, etc.) they need as well as the love and nurturing needs they require.
• Nurture through gentle touch and speech, encouragement, cooperation, and being fun.  Keep touch and speech gentle and soothing.  Never resort to negative touch or speech.  Give encouragement to your children, even when they have failures.  Cooperate with them and show them that you can work together.  Most importantly make life FUN!  
• Be open about and recognizing feelings.  Help your children know that you are there to talk to when they need to.  Ask them why they are sad, or angry.  Recognize that even children can and will have these feelings and it's okay for them to express those feelings.  Assist them in expressing their feelings in a positive way.
• Keep stress minimal and recognize it.  Be aware of stress levels and recognize that stress can and will be present.  Model good coping skills for children regarding stressful situations.  Sometimes this might be difficult, but what we model to our children is what they are going to see and DO.

In applying these principles, you will find that you will become a more empathetic parent, one who is considerate and sympathetic of your child. 

What We Expect of Children

Do you know what you should expect of your child?  Sometimes we think our children should be able to do more than what they feasibly can.  This can cause serious issues in our child’s development and in nurturing our family.  Take a step back and think about your child’s age.  What are other children their age able to do?  Are you expecting too much?

There are three steps to take in order to assure ourselves that we are not placing too high of expectations on our children.

 Ø  Know what your child’s needs are and what they are capable of.

 Ø  Develop a positive self esteem in yourself and your child.

 Ø  Be empathetic (considerate and sympathetic of your child’s abilities or lack of abilities).

Expecting too much of children can have a negative effect on their self-worth.  It can also cause feelings of failure or make them feel as though they have disappointed you.  The end result is anger that develops in the child and the parent.  This type of anger can work against a nurturing relationship.

Stephen Bavolek recommends 10 ways to build a child’s self-worth:

 ü  Allow your child to succeed by giving him or her opportunities that will end in success.

 ü  Choose small opportunities to succeed.

 ü  When a child does not succeed, determine what is hindering them.

 ü  Write down good behaviors and victories that you see your child engaging in.

 ü  Make sure your child hears you praising his or her efforts.

 ü  Model the behavior you want your child to have and praise yourself for it.

 ü  Visualize your child’s success.

 ü  Respect opinions and feelings of your child, despite whether or not you agree.

 ü  Share with your child his or her strengths, not only weaknesses.

 ü  Patience is key!  It takes children time to change behaviors or abilities.

New Upcoming Classes

Nurturing Parenting Program

Presented by

Union-Snyder Community Action Agency

FREE NURTURING PARENTING WORKSHOPS

Location: 

Union County

Day Reporting Center

480 Hafer Rd

Lewisburg, PA  17837

Come and learn about nurturing your family!

Call to register today!

Contact Chris Snyder at (570)374-0181

to reserve your spot!

Family Trips

Family trips can be a great way to bond with your children and they don’t require a large pocketbook. Some great options are going to the community park, going to a preserve park, a street fair, library functions, or driving to a scenic area of your community and packing a picnic. There are many options that have free admission. We even are lucky in our area to have a “free admission” amusement park. Take advantage of great opportunities like this! Check your local paper or news station for events in your area. 

The Family Nurturing Program is taking our families to a farm in April to enjoy the newness of spring and have some time of family bonding. In the fun of watching the animals bond with their little ones, we can find ourselves drawing close to our children. These are some moments that will bring us together and nurture. Smiles will abound that day, as the children enjoy watching chicks, and lambs, and who knows what else! 

Take the opportunity to find time to pack up the kids and go on a short local trip. This might scare some of you! What? Pack up the kids? Go on a trip? Yes! Pack them up and hit the road! They will remember it for years.

I remember taking my children to the blueberry patch, and to watch maple syrup get harvested. Yes, I did have one child who really was upset at the work involved in picking blueberries and at having to be held up above the crowd to see the entire process of making maple syrup, but both of my children remember the experience as a family growing time. Remember that every experience is not going to please everyone and you will have some breakdowns and maybe a few tears along the way when things don’t go the way your child expects. It is in these moments that we are tested as parents. Are we going to give up or are we going to use that moment to nurture and make the best of our time together. It is easy to just say, “Never mind!” and give up. Instead, try to take those moments to encourage your child to express their opinion, but also help them to see the fun in what you are doing. Every experience is an opportunity to grow! 

My family now spends a lot of afternoons going to a local preserve and lake. We take a nice walk, take some photos of nature, and enjoy a picnic lunch. This is something we look forward to and try to accommodate several times while the weather is nice. It enables us to communicate with our children as we walk and share in some awesome memories of silliness and fun together.  Even in the moments of "My feet hurt!" and "Bugs!" we can learn to nurture with a hug, a short walking break, and some gently applied bug repellent.

 Find some great activities for your family! Start looking today for some little trips you can venture out on to increase that family bond and nurture your family!