What We Expect of Children

Do you know what you should expect of your child?  Sometimes we think our children should be able to do more than what they feasibly can.  This can cause serious issues in our child’s development and in nurturing our family.  Take a step back and think about your child’s age.  What are other children their age able to do?  Are you expecting too much?

There are three steps to take in order to assure ourselves that we are not placing too high of expectations on our children.

 Ø  Know what your child’s needs are and what they are capable of.

 Ø  Develop a positive self esteem in yourself and your child.

 Ø  Be empathetic (considerate and sympathetic of your child’s abilities or lack of abilities).

Expecting too much of children can have a negative effect on their self-worth.  It can also cause feelings of failure or make them feel as though they have disappointed you.  The end result is anger that develops in the child and the parent.  This type of anger can work against a nurturing relationship.

Stephen Bavolek recommends 10 ways to build a child’s self-worth:

 ü  Allow your child to succeed by giving him or her opportunities that will end in success.

 ü  Choose small opportunities to succeed.

 ü  When a child does not succeed, determine what is hindering them.

 ü  Write down good behaviors and victories that you see your child engaging in.

 ü  Make sure your child hears you praising his or her efforts.

 ü  Model the behavior you want your child to have and praise yourself for it.

 ü  Visualize your child’s success.

 ü  Respect opinions and feelings of your child, despite whether or not you agree.

 ü  Share with your child his or her strengths, not only weaknesses.

 ü  Patience is key!  It takes children time to change behaviors or abilities.