Family Disagreements

As I was looking over my "events calendar" for August 2014, I noticed that the 25th was designated as "Kiss and Make Up Day" and that caused me to reflect on disagreements within the family.  Sometimes we have disagreements, whether big or small, that are like a nagging splinter in our relationships.  So, it made me think about what the best way of resolving arguments would be.  

I wholeheartedly agree that we all should just "kiss and make up."  I have become the type of person to be quick to forgive and move on.  Holding grudges can destroy relationships, especially those within a family.  We can even have these types of disagreements with our children.  I have a tendency of being the mediator in our family.  So, here's what I do to resolve conflict...  

The key in resolving disagreements is COMMUNICATION.  Without clear communication of feelings and desires, it is impossible to move on from a disagreement; it will continually arise; this may happen even with communication, but the key here is to be in constant communication.  Sometimes it takes persistence on a subject for all parties to understand what caused the disagreement and what the best way to resolve future outbreaks is.  For example, my son has a GREAT personality that is fun and witty; but unfortunately my daughter gets frustrated with being teased and joke making.  My son gets frustrated when my daughter has meltdowns due to her perfectionism and her happiness to just "chill" rather than have huge activities planned.  My goal in resolving these conflicts is to help them both to see that they have different personalities and that it is important to recognize other individual's breaking points.  My daughter is more of a laid back personality, except for when things go wrong (out of her comfort zone) and then it's all drama.  Put the two kids together and it's a recipe for disaster.  

But...these two kids have come a long way.  By sitting down when tempers flare and discussing personality differences, likes and dislikes, and personal space; we have been able to keep peace.  I always end our discussions with "Let's hug it out!"  Of course, kissing and making up (as the 25th recommends) may not work between siblings; I'm sure their response would be, "YUCK!" Next time you find your kids in a disagreement, bring them together, be the mediator, and help them learn to forgive and "hug it out." 

Let's not forget parent/child disagreements.  These agreements can be solved in the same way, but of course you as the adult must take the high road and be willing to consider both sides of the story.  Sometimes, we as parents even have to apologize (cringe); Yes, parents should apologize for actions that are inappropriate.  We must show our kids that everyone can make a mistake and even adults must make things right when that happens.  So, sit down with your kids, discuss the issue, and hug it out!